Just A Little Fear

i have a little fear at the back of my mind. as much as i try to suppress it, not think abt it,  it sometimes pops out suddenly, catching you unaware, and brings your mood down drastically from a high to a low.

i guess it is inevitable that i have such thoughts. but at least they don't consume my life. i have accepted my condition and how different life is going to be for me, but sometimes, once in awhile, i give in and collapse for awhile. i feel that crying lets out any pent-up frustration i may have. i'm not an expressive person, so i don't vent my frustrations on anyone. i guess, this is the only way for me to keep sane.

and this happens when i see photos of friends doing things that i may never be able to do again in the future. the operative word being "may". of course, many people tell me that it's mind over matter. i try of course. but who knows how things are going to turn out exactly? i'm not a pessimist, but neither do i wanna get my hopes up too high. i'm just simply prepared for the worst. it is best to be mentally prepared than to be once again caught off-guard, unaware, and then feel like the end of the world has arrived.

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

St Nicks Christmas Party

our annual st nicks christmas gathering was held at my place this year (well, technically it's not my place but my grandma's place, but still). usually it'll be at ks place, but we decided to go try someplace different. and i bought santa hats for everyone this year too~! it certainly adds to the christmas mood. oh yes, and the theme we've decided for ourselves is red and black. =)

well we were supposed to start at 12pm, but hmm, everyone was late and we only started at close to 2pm. waited for the last person to arrive before we started on our food. we had a spread of sushi, honey-baked ham, wine, cheese, ice-cream and biscuits. pretty satisfying i think. hehe. we then had our present exchange and played one round of wii before it was time to go home.

kinda short party but it was good to have everyone around this year for the party (seeing that i missed it last year). we're planning for one on cruise next year. hopefully it works out. hehe. i shall let the pictures do the talking now.

putting on the santa hat

 

 wei and moi

lynette and moi

ks and moi

our christmas sushi platter from sakae

our spread of food!

and then it was time to open presents! my secret santa is wei! i was hoping it was her, cos i asked for a bag that was similar to hers that she bought from bkk three yrs ago. and knowing that she's going bkk again, i mentioned it, hoping that she can buy it for me. hehe. and instead of getting just one present for moi, she bought me three! a handphone pouch and a book by cecelia ahern as well, all of which i wanted (and was of cos on my christmas wishlist). =)

happy with my presents!

and i was ade's secret santa. bought her a pair of goggles (in pink no less) that she wanted, and gave her a pig piggy bank too so that she can finally start saving for her wedding dinner *hint hint*

jul opening her present from ks

wei opening her present from ade

 

  wei happy with her presents too

 any hello kitty thing i see reminds me of wei and donut, so i decided to get her something hello kitty. hehe.

both happy with their presents too though lyn didn't exactly get what she wanted.

the very red christmas! i love our santa hats! and of cos, i love you gals too!

Blessed Christmas Everyone! :)

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

HTC Hero

i bought the htc hero 3 days ago on monday and i have no idea what possessed me to buy such a complicated phone, and not a cheap one either. =.=

too late, money spent. so i might as well just make myself feel better by exploring all its functions and get cheap thrills by what it can do (even though i don't really need them). anyhow, what i really like about it is how easily i can access gmail, facebook, twitter and youtube. but oh yes, i have to first get a data plan. currently accessing the internet on the phone using my home internet, so that's pretty sweet. at least i don't have to switch on my pc all the time. =P

so next on the list, read the phone manual (it's gonna be the first time i'm actually reading a phone manual), get a data plan, figure out how to access msn and blogger and finally, start getting used to it and quit missing my sony ericsson. 

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

New Moon

caught the show new moon on sunday with wei and i must say the show wasn't all too bad, despite all the negative reviews and what other friends might say. in fact, both wei and i tot it was better than the first show, twilight. perhaps it was due to all the 1-star reviews that prepared us with a very low expectation of the show and so, we managed to enjoy it much better since it turned out better than expected. lol.

no point talking about the movie since reviews elsewhere are easily available. other than the fact that given that new moon is my least favourite book out of the 4 books of twilight series,the movie definitely wasn't as painful as reading the book. plus there's nice eye candy to compensate for the lack of acting and the absence of edward for close to half the show (or book). at least jacob looked so much better than he did in the first movie. hee.

on another note, i've been eating at places i haven't been to for more than a year. like lunch with wei at subway before the show and dinner with pat and shirl at cafe cartel on saturday night. it's nice to be able to go out with friends again. i just need to gain back the confidence and strength i need to survive outside on my own. =)

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

Dr. Bok

i went to see my rehab doctor, Dr. Bok today. and seeing him is such an encouraging thing. he was genuinely very happy to see that i was walking so well (in his opinion) and he seemed really glad that i was making such progress. even though everyone else (or maybe just my family) always seem to tell me that i need to work harder.

believe it or not, Dr. Bok's way of encouragement definitely works better for me. you'll naturally want to work harder when you are happy and receiving positive feedback. how is it possible that anyone, other than myself, be more eager for me to be able to walk properly? am i not the one suffering? pouring cold water on me isn't going to help matters. and i definitely don't take well to nagging. maybe i'm a little rebellious/stubborn, but the more you nag, the more i'm reluctant to do it. =X

anyhow, it was a good trip to sgh. seeing this doctor is like meeting an old friend, and updating him on how i was doing, seeking his advice on small little matters and just having him tell me i was REALLY making quite good progress given the severity of my injuries. he said i shouldn't just be concentrating on walking and preparing to go back to work, that i should do stuff that i used to enjoy before my accident, like shopping! lol. activities that involve me walking around and not just sitting down most of the time. to slowly integrate back to society and start having a social life. well, of course i would like that but not everyone has the time to accommodate me. so i guess 慢慢来吧, i will heal at my own time. i sure do not want to rush into things. =)

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

Metal Rods and Wire

 the metal rods and wire were taken out of my brother's elbow and arm last wednesday. the metal rods are disgustingly long. they're as long as a normal mechanical pencil! eeks. i cringe at the sight of them. imagine they were once inside someone's body. anyway, because my brother was having a cough on the day of his surgery, they decide to give him a local anaesthesia instead of a general one. so he was awake throughout the entire op. omg, i think i would have fainted if i'm not put to sleep. haha. anyhow, i'm glad this part of the journey is finally over for him. what's left is just removing the stitches. as for me, sadly, i still have quite some way to go. still waiting to get to the finish line. =)

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

Christmas Mood

i love my new blogskin! so christmasy! as you can see, i'm currently in the blogging mood, and also kinda bored, with too much energy and nowhere to spend, so here i am. =)

since i'm in the christmas mood right now, i've decided to post one of my favourite christmas songs by alvin and the chipmunks.

The Christmas Song
by Alvin and the Chipmunks


"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain