a dream

i had many dreams ever since my accident. mostly involved me being able to walk and run again. i'm still waiting for that to come true. soon soon. i must be patient.

last night i had another dream. i dreamt that i flew to europe. on impulse. to escape from work. and i didn't go by myself. i went with a supposedly someone special. which i have no idea who he is when i woke up. anyway, the thing is, the moment i reached europe, i felt so guilty for not informing anyone at office and just disappearing like that, and all i wanted to do was to go back. so i won't get a black mark or what. i'm such a coward. either that, or i feel too responsible. i prefer to believe in the latter. :P

haix. my sch refuse to leave me alone even during the weekends. i've to return to sch to help them out. by right, i shld be very willing. seeing all the provisions they've made so that i can work from home, i shld be grateful. i'm obliged to help them. but right now, it's precisely the sense of obligation that i do not like. i don't want the feeling that i owe them something. perhaps i shld have gone on no-pay leave instead of agreeing to working from home. at least i won't be so haunted now. even in my sleep.

sigh. tots of leaving are still lingering in my mind. yesterday, i've just heard that another colleague may be tendering. makes me wanna leave even more. well, let's wait and see.