Giving and Receiving

thought of the day: give, freely give, but do not expect anything in return.

i was pondering on this as some recent events have reminded me of this simple message. it is so simple, but yet not easy to live up to. how many of us are willing to give, and yet expect nothing in return at all? not even a thank you or courtesy smile sometimes.

if you really love someone, and care for that person, this should come by easy. but it's human nature to want the person you've been giving to, to do the same for you.

for example, i have a friend A who had boyfriend B. A wanted to take up this dream job of hers but it requires her to travel. but B stopped her. B's reason was that he gave up this scholarship/internship that he had always dreamed of for her because it required him to be based in another country for a long period of time, so he expects A to do the same. B gave up this opportunity on his own accord, and without telling or consulting A too. now B expects A to act in the same way as him. A said if B had told her, she wouldn't want him to give up this opportunity.

of course, the above example is kinda extreme. we can just simply look at everyday life. say if you lent a friend $10, you would naturally expect your friend to loan you $10 if you need it. but how many of us can really not expect it?

if you willing gave or did something for someone you loved, i feel that you should never use it to threaten or blackmail the person to do the same for you. even if it's a stranger, expect nothing in return. because, most often than not, you may end up disappointed. and mainly because, whatever you give, God will give back to you many times over. love, shouldn't come with a price tag, or any expectations. and really, life's happier like that. if you're always expecting something, but end up not getting it, wouldn't you be sad most of the time?

now of course, there is the reverse, where we are at the receiving end. how readily should we accept help? should you accept help knowing that you can never do the same back for the person? i read somewhere that if someone willingly offers you help or wants to give you something, you should be generous and gracious enough to accept it.

of course, when we talk about expecting nothing in return when you give, it seems that if you receive, you're not expected to return the favour or kindness shown on you. well, i guess that's really up to the individual. for me, if i cannot return the exact same favour, i'll always remember the kindness shown and repay in other means that i can.

(honestly speaking, sometimes i do not like to receive help in any form because i do not want to feel indebted to someone. some people give and expect you to give back. and you feel like you owe them. i really don't like this kind of feeling. so perhaps i am a little wary of accepting help too readily. =.=)

life is all about helping one another. do you see your friend fall and not help her up? do you see your friend burden with trouble and not offer a listening ear? many times, we pretend not to see, and just carry on with our daily life, claiming that we have no time and have our own problems to deal with. but what do you gain by turning a blind eye to those in need? though i confess that i'm sometimes like that too. not offering help even though you know the person needs help. i feel i have enough on my own plate to deal with. i don't need someone else's problems too. but still, i try my best to change. for i always believe, giving is better than receiving.

so, give, because God will give back to you many times over.

inspiration: are you a giver or taker? by Bo Sanchez