Of Resolutions and Recoveries

my only resolution for the year twenty-ten is to leave my job. but it seems like that isn't going to happen this year. i actually forgot that i kinda like my job, not to mention some of the people i'm working with. of cos recovering and travelling is on the list too, but those aren't as difficult to achieve as resigning. well, if only.

too many things to consider, too many favours to repay, too many things to leave behind. i guess that's why some people, though they complain endlessly about their jobs, never do leave them eventually. it's hard to uproot oneself, go to a new environment, make new friends/colleagues and start from ground zero all over again. especially when you've built up something in your existing place and made some close friends - how can you bear to just leave everything behind?

for me, the only thing that is holding me back (for now at least) is my yet-to-fully-recover leg. once i've got that settled, i'm honestly going to FLY! doing my masters (and overseas, that is) is high on my to-do list. so still surfing around, looking around. if i can do that next year, it'll probably be the best. but everything's too early to say for sure now. we live in such a volatile environment, where everything can just change in the snap of a finger.

sometimes, i still wonder what i would be doing now if that fateful accident did not happen. but there's no point wondering, because i can't possibly go back in time and change things. i can only look forward and decide for myself what i can since the accident has taken place. just to share one of the last few pictures i took before that fateful accident.

the fateful road

i'm considering having a celebration on that day every year to celebrate my rebirth and escape from death! :) though honestly speaking, it may sound a little morbid, but i don't think i would have regretted dying on that day. other than the fact it would have cost major heartache to my family, i just felt i wasn't particularly attached to anything on earth that i couldn't leave behind. plus i believed i had a fulfilling life till then - i had experienced many things in my short life - childhood, school & exams, love & heartbreak, working and living overseas, having a full-time job, working like there's no tomorrow. and surviving would only mean working for the rest of my life - which the one-year of worklife had given me enough to last a lifetime.

but since it was god's will that it was not my time to leave yet, i shall make use of my new life to experience things i have yet the chance to. studying overseas for one. it was my biggest dream when i was in jc. but somehow i couldn't do that because 1. i wasn't smart enough to get a scholarship, 2. my parents claimed they were too poor to afford to send me overseas. and now, suddenly my parents had enough money to do that! haha what more can i ask for but of course grab the opportunity before they change their minds.

ok i think i went totally out of point in this post. i just gotta remember, one step at a time, and i will get there! :)

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." — Mark Twain