Two More Years

that is all i'm going to give myself. for my life to return to total normalcy. and i can go travelling freely again.

given my current state, there are many things that i cannot do/take part in, do too slow, get tired easily from doing etc. so i guess it is normal that friends do not ask me out as often, automatically leave me out when planning for certain activities, and so on. nothing wrong with that, but somehow, i get that littlest childish feeling of being left out. and i start to wonder. when will i be okay enough to be included in these certain activities? and even if i do become better, will i even be included since it has already become a habit to just leave me out?

it is a such a childish thought, i know. but sometimes, it is tiring to always be the one asking others out, just because others don't know if or when i am well enough to go out. and if i'm not the one asking others out, i know i will just be stuck at home everyday because no one will ask me out.

but of course, i say all these just because of a passing random thought. i do not really feel that way at all, except perhaps when i'm pms-ing or in a rare bad mood. i do not live my days filled with such negative thoughts. instead, i am thankful for the things that i am still able to do. and i am happy that i have the energy to still organise gatherings and go out for the occasional movies, dinners and plays. it doesn't really matter who's the one doing the asking, and the organising - i'm just glad that people are still even willing to go out or hang out with me, despite all the inconveniences i bring along.

so yes, life still ain't too bad after all. we just need to learn to look at the bright side of things and stop thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." — Mark Twain